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For Women: What's the fuss about dating younger men?

We consider the justifications, if any, for why women prefer older men to younger ones.

Depending on the kind of woman you are, you could be set in your ways and limit all your relationships to older men, or could be flexible enough to consider being with a younger guy.

For female millennials, being with younger men is a matter of age as much as it is a matter of anything else. For instance, women in their early twenties will rarely date younger guys because women typically grow at a faster mental rate than guys. So a 24-year old babe may not really favour the idea of being with a guy two years younger, or worse, more.

When the age is increased though, say from 28 upwards, the idea doesn’t sound so repulsive anymore, provided the age gap is not significant, and that guy in question can meet the emotional needs and other needs of the woman.

A case for younger guys

Dating a younger man, say one between the ages of 23-28 has been said to be a lot more fun than dating an older man. Younger guys are fun and could be less controlling.

They’re more spontaneous and have a greater appetite for fun and adventure, even though they can hardly afford many of the things they want yet. The sex with younger men is also lit, with all the boundless energy they have and the willingness to try out new things in bed.

While most of the advantages of dating this kind of men are usually linked to their effervescence and the boisterousness of youth, there’s one more reason why it’s a great idea to be with a guy in the age range above, and this has to do with society’s attempt [and success] at redefining the ideas and ideals of masculinity.

According to Cosmo PH, “younger guys have been pre-softened by a society that has evolved a lot in the past 30 years. Women's rights, gay rights— the younger a guy is, the more evolved he is. You want to work? Cool. Want him to do the laundry? No problem. My husband washes bottles and does nighttime feedings without acting like he's a hero. That's not just a younger guy you're dating; it's utopian values, in human form. Enjoy it.”

While the social structure here and in Philippines may be different, there’s still some truth to be found in those words. A man in his early thirties or younger is more likely to be ‘feminist’ in his outlook to life than an older man in his forties and above.

Disadvantages of being with these guys, however include, less levels of long-term commitment, financial insecurity, may be lacking in emotional maturity and intelligence, etc.

ALSO READ: Is Okafor's Law a relationship myth or reality?

A case for older men

When asked for the purpose of this piece, what makes older men more appealing to millennial women than younger ones, Sarah Babs, a content creator and part-time model in Lagos says the maturity that older men bring into relationships is what makes them more appealing to women than younger ones. “I think older men are just more mature and handle situations less [rashly],” she says.

Damilola is a 21 year old student and she also agrees that mental and emotional maturity is one of the major things women look for in men, and of course, older men have this in abundance more than younger men, according to her.

Aside the emotional maturity that many older men are known to possess over younger men, the financial security they bring to the table also helps to tip the scale in their favour. There’s more likelihood that a guy in his mid-thirties will be financially stable than one in his mid-twenties. And then there is the commitment quotient. The older a guy is, the more increased his chances of wanting a committed relationship as opposed to younger men who may still be dipping their feet in many waters, testing for the coolest one.

One of the things held against older men, however, is that they are less likely to be adventurous in their approach to life, sex and the relationship or marriage in general because they are usually more experienced with these things and would rather plump for what’s safe, tested and trusted than what’s exciting. They could also be more controlling and more rigid in their disposition to gender roles in the relationships or marriages.


Do what’s best for you

Regardless of the pros and cons, who does what and who doesn’t, for the millennial, modern woman in 2018, the bottom line when deciding who to be with should be the protection of your happiness and the guarding of your soul’s peace.

If he’s intentional about making you happy and adding value to your life, if he brings balance and helps in all spheres of your wellbeing, be it mental, physical, sexual, financial and all others, it really should not matter that he’s younger or older.

There’s too much negativity, too much trash out here for you to let go of something as magical, almost mythical, as the true love of a man who fits the picture painted in the paragraph above.

Please take our poll below and let’s know what you think about the matter: can you marry a guy five years younger than you are?

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